Using one frame to pry another apart
A conservative co-worker and I often have it out over the full spectrum of issues. Usually, we fail to change each other's opinions. The few times I have been able to alter his perspective, however, I have used one conservative frame to pry apart another one. Here's a quick example:
My co-worker is anti-tax. He always favors lower taxes, and never sees the upside of raising taxes. He is also vehemently pro-life, and will vote for pro-life candidates that he otherwise finds objectionable.
One day I asked him, "What if you could eliminate abortion in the United States by raising taxes? Would you be in favor of that?"
He said, "Yes, of course."
His answer revealed that he is not as strictly anti-tax as he believed. If tax dollars were used to promote ideas he strongly believed in, he would actually favor a tax increase.
This helped him see that taxes are not an evil instrument the government uses to fleece the citizenry; they are a necessary investment for implementing policy. It also helped shift future discussions from the binary "taxes are good/bad" to "How are our tax dollars being used? Is the policy any good?"
Minneapolis
MN
55409
Re: Foot in the door
I like your example, but you're forgetting one of the laws of framing: facts bounce off frames.
Your argument worked because your mom accepted what you were saying at face value. (I'm assuming she did not challenge your assertions or accuse you of lying.)
The same argument might not work with a pro-business conservative who could say: "You're exaggerating. Nobody is forced to have an abortion. Wal-Mart is doing everything it can to make sure that doesn't happen. I bet you read about that in some liberal magazine."
It is counterintuitive, but hypothetical technicalities can be easier to accept than the facts.
"Cognitive Dissonance"
per Wikipedia "(Cognitive Dissonance) is the uncomfortable tension that comes from holding two conflicting thoughts at the same time. The theory of cognitive dissonance states that contradicting cognitions serve as a driving force that compels the mind to acquire or invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to reduce the amount of dissonance (conflict) between cognitions."
But as you both point out, different people have different cognitions. A businessman might have a different mental landscape than a nurse. Therefore what's going to work for her won't work for him. And vice versa. Just another reminder for me to really examine the contents of the mind map of the person I'm talking to. Thanks.
New! Foot in the door
Yes, your example is a foot in the door, but sort of just a hypothetical technicality. Here is maybe a better one with a real world example:
My mom is very pro-life too and will vote that way almost regardless of anything else. She is very pro-child, religious and a nurse.
She also shops a whole lot at Wal-Mart due to her lower middle income status.
In one of our many
discussionsincorporating all of these topics, I simply asked if she cared about Chinese or Indian children. See I was talking about boycotting Wal-Mart and she got her back up about how she HAD to shop there. I noted the number of plastic toys that she had bought there (for my children) and said that those were not necessities and we do pretty well shopping consignment. I noted that kids my sons age (4) were in slave like conditions in order to create the low prices and that I care about them over there too. I asked if she cared if Asian women not only had abortions but were forced to have them, then I told her about the Marianna Islands being supported by pro-business Republican forces and how the women are forced to work in slave like conditions in clothing sweatshops and how coincidentally none of these child bearing age women ever get (visibly) pregnant or have children, even though many are forced into the sex industry to survive.I try really hard not to have a smarmy attitude, but a genuinely caring one, which is easy, because I really do care about these other people.
My mom was nearly in tears trying to defend herself. 'Do you really think I don't care about those people?' she asked me. I don't enjoy making mom cry, but it is a rude awakening to think that you are on the bad end of these bad policies. I do think she cares about people in general, I don't think she wants to think to deeply about the policies behind the stuff she buys.
She told me last visit that I am making a difference in the way she thinks.
Bingo.