Self-reflection

That's an interesting insight. Thanks for sharing it.

It seems to me we have a blame frame in our culture. Blame often seems to involve guilt and punishment and unpleasantness that cause many of us to avoid any association with any problem, any time, anywhere.

Conservatives exploit that blame frame. When politicians promise to blame only "Those Other People" it's also a promise not to make us feel bad, don't you think?

Somehow we need to break out of that frame. We need to figure out how to approach actual, existing problems in ways that either do not evoke those unpleasant feelings that people avoid, or in ways that allow people to manage those unpleasant feelings while also solving problems.

I think about the metaphor of being painted into a corner. It seems to me we need to figure out ways to get out of that corner with our dignity intact, even if our feet aren't clean.

What are some ways to encourage more folks to approach actual, existing problems without dodging? How do we encourage more folks to take up self reflection?

I have found self-reflection to be one of the hardest things to encourage in people. Personally, I've always been into finding out why things are the way they are by looking for clues in the past. I like to talk about deep stuff, which turns many people off. It can be unpleasant, yes, but it is necessary in order to heal and grow. If you just keep on suppressing stuff, it has a way of rearing its ugly head when you least expect it. If you don't control your fears, it controls you. And this denial of one's emotional life is especially prevalent among conservatives.

It probably doesn't come as a surprise that I've been in psychotherapy for five and half years and have read up a lot on psychology. Nothing has helped me uncover stuff from my life more than talking to a therapist. It is extremely helpful to have someone on the outside give you a more objective view of what's going on inside your head.

A common misunderstanding is that people who seek therapy are weak minded. There is this idea that if you are strong, you can keep yourself sane. And that if you don't stay strong, you will fall apart and go crazy. This is a very conservative view, actually.

The way many people such as myself view all this is that we all have issues and its the sane ones who seek out help, because we are not afraid to admit we have problems and are therefore more aware of them and can therefore better manage our themselves. It is really those who think there is nothing wrong with them that is the most blind to their problems and therefore the most in danger.

I don't know what we can do to change this, but I think educating people that having problems or regrets about the past is not something to be ashamed of and is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. It is not easy to confront one's own demons.