Nurturance is Responsible, Strong and Necessary
Progressives should not fall into the conservative trap of describing "hapless" behavior as "nurturing." It is not. Nurturing people are compassionate. Sometimes fiercely compassionate.
A number of bloggers (including Glenn Greenwald) have been writing recently—and quite understandably—that the White House and Congressional Republicans have been treating our democracy with disdain, refusing to allow the government to function properly. And, they continue, Democrats have made a mess of countering their illegal acts and their obstructionism.
As Digby put it recently,
They [Republicans] are not behaving as normal politicians behave, they are behaving like reckless, emotionally deranged teen-agers daring someone to stop them. And like the nice, nurturing parents they are, the Democrats try to be reasonable and "talk" while the miscreant kids steal the money out of their wallet and take the family car --- screaming "suckers" as they peel out of the driveway.
They aren't playing by any rules and neither the press nor the public seems to quite understand that. The Dems are trying to position themselves for the next election, which is what the system anticipates, but their hapless act in the face of this anarchistic GOP response is not going to get them there.
This is odd behavior from Republican lawmakers whose oath is to the Constitution. Bottom line, it seems self-evident that lawmakers, Republican and Democrats, should make our government function for the common good. If some of them won’t, then those in charge, Republicans or Democrats, must stop them from throwing a monkey wrench in the gears of government. That is a lawmaker’s responsibility.
So, yes, Congress can be frustrating to watch and progressives can want the Democratic leadership in Congress to be more assertive in stopping the actions of the Republican minority. However, progressives should not fall into the conservative trap of describing weak or “hapless” behavior as “nurturing” behavior. It is not, and progressives should stop talking like it is.
Nurturing people are fiercely compassionate. They act with the necessary strength and courage to prevent harm to others and themselves. Think of the father who recently fought off three pit bulls to protect his son.
Nurturing people also believe in support, so they act just as fiercely to protect our public and governmental institutions. That means they support and protect an EPA that stops polluters, a Justice Department that prosecutes criminal lawmakers, an HHS that gives Medicaid to all who need it, and a FEMA that will be there should my family be the victim of an earthquake. A nurturing lawmaker will ensure that the government will be there, doing those things.
And, if there are lawmakers who won’t let our government do these most basic acts, I want their colleagues to be nurturing and stop them. Now! I want them to use every legal means available to stop the obstructionists from grinding down our government. Progressives should think of Jesus throwing the moneylenders out of the temple.
Nurturance is built on empathy and responsibility and the idea that we should act responsibly on that empathy for the common good. That is community, and community requires both support AND protection.
Nurturing people know the power of community, so they act to support and protect others and themselves. They also support and protect the governmental and public institutions that help us tie one to another into a society that is also a set of interdependent communities. That belief in nurturing the system keeps disagreement from becoming obstruction and protection from becoming bullying. It’s a balance where everyone flourishes.
Progressives must be careful not to adopt the conservative frame that sees strength only in coercion and only weakness in collaboration. To do so, is to countenance political obstructionism. There’s no destroying democracy to save the nation. That type of behavior and that type of government will never work. Most Americans will be the worse off for it; many already are.
Nurturance is essential to effective democracy and progressives should demand it. It means walking a fine line sometimes between grabbing short-term political gain and protecting the long-term health of our nation. It’s a line that nurturing people understand shouldn’t be crossed. You must be tough enough to stop the harm and courageous enough not to become it. It is acting responsibly. That is why progressives should want lawmakers to be “nurturing” in the strongest sense of the word.
Eric Haas
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Framing is often out of Dem's Control
From what I see of the media, the framing of such things is often out of the Democrat's control. There can be a news conference where Reid says all of the right things, but the talking head sets it up with a conservative frame and then either adds a conservative framed comment at the end or has another talking head come in and reframe in a conservative manner. Viewers unfamiliar with these framing techniques and not fully informed on political matters are watching the news to just get the facts. They are not necessarily watching and listening with a critical eye or ear, so they just accept the conservative frame and Reid looks like a moron.
It is up to those of us who know better to come back with "the responsibility of Congress is to hold debate on these matters and create consensus and enact laws. If the Republicans are blocking cloture, they are not only obstructing Congress from carrying out their responsibilities to the people, they are blocking the will of the people who have spoken loudly and clearly against continuation of the occupation in Iraq."
I hope that the strategy that Democrats are currently employing is to thoroughly examine all of their options as they proceed with investigations that produce so many illegal, immoral and/or unethical activities that the people get angry enough to insist that the Republican Senators in Congress stop obstructing the will of the people and the proper corrective measures that must be taken. True Democracy depends on the rule of law and so far the Republican Senators seem to be supporting the administration in completely destroying the rule of law.
Nurturant Stance more confusing than Strict Stance
I wonder if part of the Dems inability to respond comes from (just put "my opinion" in front of everything) the fact that the values of the nurturt stance are less clear than the strict stance because the culture we live in is primarily strict based.
We live in a system of belief that maintains that some people want to detract from life (we call them bad) and they deserve punishment (painful consequences) so that they will learn, while other people mean to enhance life (we call them good), they deserve rewards to encourage them to continue their actions. Progressives believe that too; the bad people are, well, I don't have to name them - and we need strong laws to curb them and punishments to teach them. We all grow up that way, we virtually all believe that. But then, we "progressives" also believe in compassion, that is, "we are all doing our best, we want to support each other, we're all in the same boat, don't judge lest you be judged". And I think this sets up a huge dilemma for a lot of us.
I think this inconsistency can be paralyzing when one tries to apply the above mish-mash to real-life situations. And there is the fear of "maybe I AM wishy-washy" etc., which I think comes from not really having explored and understood all of the above.
What has helped me enormously in how I think of nurturant values are the writings of Marshall Rosenberg (e.g. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life). I'm thinking in particular of his comments on language and the concepts of "good" and "bad" pgs 17 and 18 where he cites research by Prof O.J. Harvey, and pgs 22-23 where he discusses the life-alienating roots and results of punishment and reward.
Getting clearer on these "deep philosophical and political roots" would help the Dems to act more clearly and strongly.
compassion/co-dependent
Whenever our Democratic Congresspeople try to reason with some of their Republican counterparts, they are being co-dependent not compassionate.Yes we have to be reasonable civilized humans in our day to day conversation,but that does not include reasoning with and making compromises to situations that are just totally unethical--like the stall on global warming.In a case like that, the "parent" would be dysfunctional not compassionate if he/she did not just say no-or some other definite word.
Re: Nurturance is Responsible, Strong and Necessary
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New! Feckless, not hapless
On the positive side, Democrats in Congress are doing the oversight, calling the hearings, lining up the ducks in a transparent, open fashion. They are being responsible to the people, strong in the face of withering criticism and insults, protective of their oath and constitution, and doing necessary work to restore balance and faith in the Congress and government.
But they also goof up abysmally. In a Senate that has had more work blocked by the minority using the filibuster than any other in history, simply to make it look like the Democrats “can’t get anything done”, Majority Leader Harry Reid let the framing be: we’re pulling an all-nighter! look at us getting out the cots! And the reporting was that he couldn’t get the votes, not that the Republicans blocked the vote. That wasn't unfortunate, it wasn't nurturant or not nurturant, it was inept.
The Democrats show both a lack of real strategy as well as an inability to frame (whether shallow or deep) what they are doing.
On the contempt proceedings, the administration is running out the clock on the final 18 months. But since the administration has already said they won’t enforce criminal contempt or subpoenas against themselves, the Congress needs to show more backbone. For example, sure proceed with the hearings and citations of contempt, etc. as part of doing this openly, freely, etc. Set up a test case if they want to force the administration to refuse to do its job and take it to court (years pass ...). But simultaneously, they need also to cite people for inherent contempt and back it up by allocating more money to the Sergeant At Arms to enforce the rulings, by creating a jail that can hold a dozen people without being dependent on the administration, by not allocating funding for the vice president, except that necessary to allow him to take over if the president is incapacitated and to serve as President of the Senate -- the vice president has no other constitutional duties, do the same for other administration expenses.
But no, they plod along as if on grass tennis courts while the administration is playing on asphalt with souped up balls and specially strung rackets.
I think that is what Digby was getting at, not that they need to try and be as bad as the conservatives.
That doesn’t mean that Democrats have to abandon nurturant strengths, but they must play the full hand because the other guys aren’t playing by the rules.